Tuesday, August 18, 2015

SL2 Ben

  • Chapter 4: Describe the difference between love, the feelings, and love, the choice.
    • Love the feeling is a whimsical emotion that takes no commitment. Love the choice takes effort and work. You have to accept nothing is perfect and build up from there.
  • Chapter 4: Four communication styles are aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.  What is the ideal form that we should use?  What have we primarily used in the past? 
    • Assertive, because it gets the message through in a timely manner without being attacking or aggressive. We have tended to be passive-aggressive. We might not directly say what we needed done, but simply complained that it wasn't done.
  • Chapter 5: Imagine that two students are chasing each other with pool noodles at a scrimmage event.  What does accountability look like in this situation?  Who should know about the event?  Who should provide the accountability?  Why is it necessary to hold individuals accountable?
    • Accountability would be in the form of negative consequences, be it a reprimand or having to sit in a corner for five minutes. The leaders of the team should know about the event and though the coach should probably be the one providing accountability. It is a slippery slope once someone is given control over another person, and I doubt a student would be capable of handling it properly. It is necessary to hold them accountable because that type of behavior is unacceptable. It makes the team look immature, they could get in other peoples' way, bump into someone, or anger a stranger.
  • Chapter 7: Elizabeth said "My older friends are like they were 30 years ago, only more so".  As a high school student, what implications does this have for you?  OR As a mentor, how have your past choices built good and bad habits in your life?
    • This pretty much means people stay the same. People travel along the same path as they always have and don't change much. habits you have now will stick with you for the rest of your life.
  • Chapter 7: Change is usually initiated by friction / discomfort / pain / suffering.  If you want to change your habits, where will the discomfort come from that motivates your change?
    • The discomfort would come from knowing that you aren't being the best person you can be. You recognize your own flaws and realize that that isn't who you want to be, and your flaws are easily erased through simple effort.
  • Summary
    • I've learned that leadership is influenced by your habits, character, personality, and by the love you show to your peers. Also, it's important to not be a snide commentator when direct communication is better for the soul, and efficiency. 


  1. Do you think that we were assertive at all last year or were we just strictly passive-aggressive? How passive-aggressive were we? Should we still keep elements of the passive-aggressive style, or should we get rid of it completely?

    1. Not Ben, but here's my two cents: Most of last of year was as passive-aggressive as we could get, between the petty rivalries, cliques, and flaring tempers. We got a bit better towards the end, but the basic elements were still there, at least a little bit. I think we should get rid of most if not all of the passive-aggression. We should be up-front with everyone, and we shouldn't cabal our way through the season. This is definitely more easily said than done.